...that I NEVER would have believed:
- That I would even think I had poop on me. Much less, that I would have poop on me, yet study it for a good thirty seconds before thinking to myself, "Yep. That's poop."
- That I would plot out ways to do serious physical harm to someone if they ever threatened the safety of my child.
- That I would willingly pick another person's nose.
- That I would ever kneel so close to a public toilet.
- That I would have the crusty-faced kid.
- That I would be intimately knowledgeable of every single piece that goes with every single toy in a playroom full of toys.
- That I would regularly say "Go put on some underwear."
- That I could ever love another human being so much - much less three of them.
