Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Learning Valuable Life Skills:
The Barfing Version

Lulu's sick - throw up sick. Poor girl has skipped dinner the past two nights and she asked to go to bed last night at 5:30.

But, come the mornings, she feels slightly better.

Yesterday, she followed me into my bedroom when I went to get dressed.

"Mama! Since there are no boys around, we can have 'Girl Talk!'"
"Yes. We can! What would you like to talk about?"
"Ummm." And, then she left the room.

About ten minutes later (I have to believe it was just because there wasn't anything good on the television), she came back.

"Mama! You got dressed without me!"
"I'm sorry! Did you want to help me pick out what to wear?"
"Yes." [Evidently "Girl Talk" = "me telling you what to wear."]
"Oh. I'm sorry. But, is this okay, what I chose?"
"No."

Oh.

At least she was willing to compromise from the short-sleeve cotton shirtdress that was her first choice - seeing as how it was 40° yesterday. She really did make me take off the boots, tights and sweater dress that I was already wearing. Although, she did thoughtfully tell me, "You can keep your underwear on."

Well. Thanks for leaving me that little piece of dignity.

But, I'm am proud to tell you, this girl is a champion barfer. She'll run herself to the bathroom (or grab her bowl), throw up, rinse her mouth and go back to the couch to lie down. The most she'll ask for is someone to "hold [her] hair."

Why do I think this is giving us a terrifying glimpse into her college years? I never really thought that I would be bragging on my daughter's ability to "puke and rally."

Shawn is out of town [I think I'll save him some barf, though, so he can have the full parenting experience]. I had book club last night. Don't worry. There is no part of my maternal instinct that considered missing my night out because I had a sick child. But, I did start to question whether I was a good mother when I left the babysitter with the words, "If she throws up, I promise I'll pay you extra!" But, I felt confident that Lulu was in capable hands when the babysitter responded with, "Don't worry. I'm sure little kid barf is way less gross than drunk college girl barf." And, I told her that, just like a drunk college girl, Lulu would really just need someone to hold her hair.

*clink clink* (That therapy fund is just growing and growing.)

Comments (10)

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You're preparing her for the "real world". ;) Sounds like good parenting to me!
1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
amen, sister! it's all about getting them ready for the real world, right?!
My recent post Operation Mary & Joseph
Junk Drawer Kathy's avatar

Junk Drawer Kathy · 693 weeks ago

"Puke and rally." I'm having that put on a T-shirt. OMG, girl, you make me laugh. In the first weeks of my dear niece's college experience, her roommate puked up all over her stereo system. Do you know how hard it is to get puke out of that? It's impossible. My niece asked if she could get a new roommate, but the university wants students to "work out problems" before they get an exchange. My niece said "There are still chunks on my stereo." She got a new roommate.
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1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
i feel like you should get ANYTHING you want if your story involves the word "CHUNKS!"
My recent post Operation Mary & Joseph
Aww I hope she's feeling better - but bless her little heart for being able to
"puke and rally" like a champ lol.
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1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
she IS a champ. and she is feeling all better. THANKS!
My recent post Operation Mary & Joseph
Hah! I've always (since I was about 16) noticed that about girls. They start off mucky and scary and get worse as they get older - until they're about thirty something and then they suddenly settle down and become MUCH more interesting. Is that my personal bias showing through, do you think? LOL
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1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
yes. quick, adam! your bias is showing! ;)
My recent post Operation Mary & Joseph
That is awesome. I can count the number of times I've thrown up in my 37 years. Seriously. I hate it so very , very much. There's no puke and rally for me. It's rally then puke when there's absolutely no choice!! I read the best post about that at funnyorsnot the other day. So funny. When it's not me puking, of course!
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1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
ok. you're the winner. i've never known anyone who hates barfing as much as you! congratulations!
My recent post Operation Mary & Joseph

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