May Wrap-up... The June Version

There was a point around the second week of May when I thought, "May doesn't seem to be as crazy this year as it has been in years past."

Then May bitch-slapped me for being cocky. She bitch-slapped me so hard that I haven't been able to finish a post about May until the third week of June.

So, here you go.

May.

There was my sister's wedding.

Followed by Shawn's 40th birthday party.

Somewhere along the way I printed the invitations for Elizabeth's birthday party three times. The first time I scheduled it the same night as "Hasting's Night" at the amusement park - just an extra 1,500 people expected at the park that night. So, then I rescheduled it. For a night during the week that the kids go on their annual trip to the lake with Shawn's parents and his aunt and uncle. (My mother-in-law caught this error - when we gave her her invitation! And, I told her, "I feel like I'm spinning a whole. bunch. of plates. And, they keep crashing to the ground!"

There was the week that Elizabeth was the snack helper at school. It happened to coincide with the Pre-K Luau. Her teacher "suggested" fruit kabobs, sugar cookies and little bottles of water for the Luau snacks.

I made these Hula boys and girls:

Cute, right?

It wasn't until a week later that I realized... I brought topless Hula girls to the Pre-K Luau. But, I didn't hear of any cookie scandals through the preschool grapevine - so, I think we skated by.

There were also Book Fair shifts. A weekend in the mountains with friends. (This was actually relaxing. Once we were there. But, up til then? Just more things on the to-do list.) End-of-school field day and class parties.

And, dance recital.

May wrapped with my mom and step-dad's annual family reunion trip. I think this was probably relaxing and wonderful. But, to be honest. I think I was too tired to be sure.

First World Problems

So, over the Christmas break, I was hanging out with my sister's sixteen-year-old step-daughter-to-be. (Is that a thing? Well, it's the best description I've got. Let's go with it.) And we started laughing about this website called First World Problems.

Some of our favorites:

• They wouldn't serve from the bar menu in the restaurant area, so I had to eat my turkey avocado wrap without appetizers like some sort of bronze age hunter gatherer.
• The seat heaters don't keep the pizza warm enough for the 10 minute ride home.
• I have no idea how to reheat my leftover omelette, so I guess I’ll just have to drive to the restaurant and order another one.
• 'Family Guy’ is on two different channels at the same time and I can’t figure which one has the most potential.
• I wish I hadn’t used all my pain pills for non-pain-related purposes.
• I have caviar stuck in my braces.
• The guy who cleans my yard barely seemed to be listening when I told him about all the stuff I got for Christmas.
• I’ve run out of obscure ethnic cuisines to impress my friends with.
• I have over 20,000 songs in my iTunes library. Why can I never find the one that exactly matches my mood of wistful melancholy?
• I can't wash my dirty hands because the water is freezing.
• My shoelaces are kinda short.

I mean, you can see why we love this site, right? But, now. When I'm bitching about something in my own head (it happens a lot), I've started following it with the words, "First World Problem!" Because, truth be told, it usually is.

And, then. My friend Kelly Rodgers posted some pictures from Nicaragua. Nicaragua, where she lives with her husband and three kids while they are on a two-year mission trip. Now, the Rodgers have done some amazing things with Teeth Savers International. But, these particular pictures were of Kelly and her girls handing out dresses made by Dress A Girl Around the World women. Little girls getting dresses - some of them, the only dress they may ever own.

And, as the mom to one sassy little dress wearer, well... you know.

Then there was this picture:

As I posted on Kelly's FB page, "That is just... a mother's face. We are all the same no matter the country." And, it crushes me to think that, had I merely been born in another place, I might not be able to give my precious girl a dress.

So, now. When I follow the thoughts in my head with "First World Problem," I'm just a little bit ashamed of myself.

No.

I'm a lot ashamed.

One Other Little Obsession: Where Did I Come From?

Shawn was returning from the "old" hometown one night a couple of weeks ago. I sat down on the couch to watch TV and await his arrival.

(Does that give you images of a captain's wife looking out to sea anxiously awaiting any sight of her beloved's ship? 'Cause that's kinda what it was like. Only a lot less dramatic. And, no anxiety. And, a lot more TV... Anyway, I digress...)

I have no idea why - I've seen a thousand ancestory.com commercials - but, the one that came on that night totally sucked me. I just thought I would log on and see what I could see. Without "joining," of course.

I "joined," of course.

Three days later I emerged, after totally bingeing on census forms and birth records. I didn't know as much about my paternal grandmother as I should have, though. So, I shot my Aunt Pat (my dad's sister) a message - because, come on, we all know dads don't pay attention to stuff like where their moms were born!

Holy-wealth-of-information, Batman! I'm pretty sure this is what they mean when they say you should ask questions of your elders. Aunt Pat knows everything - at least everything I needed to get me off and running up the family tree again!

But, as quickly as I got sucked in, I lost interest. I got back to people being born in the 1700s, but there was no way to know if the information I was gathering was accurate; if the John Bassett born in 1770 was really my grandmother's great-great-grandfather. Especially, since a lot of the information you find is other people's family trees - subject to their own mistakes.

That. And, my paternal grandfather's side quickly jumped across the pond to Sweden. Turns out I can't read Swedish. So, their official documents were a little less than helpful to me.

But, my main conclusions?

• If I have any hope of tracing back to the Mayflower (P.S. I don't.), it would be through my paternal grandmother.
• My paternal grandfather - well, he's Swedish. (But, I did figure out through my own deduction that there must have been a settlement of Swedes in Iowa. Not only was my grandpa's dad born in Sweden, but so was his mom's dad. And, Aunt Pat told me I was right. I'm a total history detective!)
• And, my maternal side? Um. I don't know how to say this, but there's a small chance we're a bunch of hillbillies. As in, the guy who kept marrying twenty-year-olds when his wives died - even when he was 54 (which was, like, as good as dead in 1884). He married three of them. And had 15 kids with them. So. I don't know. Maybe he wasn't a hillbilly. Maybe he was was just a dawg. But, most of these people were born in the hills of Tennessee. Isn't that, by definition, a hillbilly?

So. My heritage. I'm a Swedish Hillbilly.

But, now. I have a confession. I've been clicking back over there as I typed this post. I kinda want to start searching again. They have this little leaf that shakes at you if they have documents that they believe pertain to a person in your family tree - and I have a lot of leaves shaking over there!

Alright, I guess this is goodbye. Between ancestory.com and Spanish, when will I possibly find the time to blog?!

Dear Veterans:

Thanks. (Especially you, Dad.)

With overwhelming gratitude on behalf of my family, and our freedom,
Ali

I'm OK! I'm OK! I'm OK!

Wow. You people really know how to make a girl feel loved. I have been so touched by all of the "are you ok?"s and "I miss you"s and "just checking on you"s and "thinking of you"s and "keep blogging"s.

I swear I'm okay! To be quite honest, I needed a break. I was starting to feel like this:

I wasn't quite sure who I was blogging for. Me? Or random people on the internet from whom I was hoping to get validation? But, y'all reminded me. I have real, live family and friends out there who like to keep up with us this way. And, if you don't like to hear what I say (or if I remind you of the dude in the picture); you can stop reading.

But, now, because of you, this blogging feels more like connecting with people I really know (or "virtually" know) and less like a job for which I don't getting paid. So. Thanks.

Now. To catch up. Spence has been playing flag football. He can't run very fast. Or catch the ball. But. The boy is huge. He plugs holes nicely. Therefore, he is one of the best players on the team. :)

We still have season tickets to the Texas Tech home football games. We've driven two hours there and back for all the home games this season - because evidently we're oddly fanatic like that. Who knew? We took the kids to a game. Lulu h.a.t.e.d. it. We had to wake her early and abruptly from her nap to get there... and it went downhill from there. It finally culminating in her crashing head first into a chair so hard that she had an instantaneous goose egg on her forehead. We allowed her to go home then. I don't think she's too crazy about the idea of any more football games - no matter how cute she looked in her cheerleading uniform.

Also, we finally wrapped up Spence's week and a half of birthday celebrating. I'm not sure how he did it. But, the boy just kept the festivities going! He had football practice on his official birthday. So, that day I just brought a cookie cake to school and cookies to practice. Then he wanted to take his Aggie G'Pa to the A&M v. Tech game in Lubbock so he could mock him the whole time (that plan didn't work out too well). While in Lubbock, his Nanny treated him to a birthday dinner (with cake). Then, we were finally able to get together here at home with G'Ma & G'Pa for a family birthday dinner (with cake) a week after his real birthday. And, this Friday he had some boys over for a birthday slumber party (with cake). We should all take lessons from Spencer about celebrating birthdays.

FYI - Shawn and I kept six 7- and 8-year-old boys alive for 15 hours and even got them 7 1/2 hours of sleep. We shall count ourselves victorious slumber-partiers.

So. That's about it. I'm glad to say, I'm glad to be back. Hope you're glad to see me. (And, contrary to what I threatened my friend Brandon, I won't hold this post hostage until I get at least 50 people to tell me how much they love my blog. ;)

See you soon. (As long as it doesn't feel like a not-for-profit-job.)

Some Follow-Up

It has come to my attention through reader comments (read that as "smart alec friends") that some of my recent posts need some follow-up.

First. About the Disaster Kit picture. You might be led to believe by the sparkly streamers at the left edge of the picture that you are looking at Lulu's bike. Or scooter.

Au contraire mon frere. That's my bike.

Shawn bought it for me a few years ago. I added the streamers and the basket liner. Best. Bike. Ever.

Next. As for the Mellow Song List. Don't judge me by my copious amounts of Barry Manilow. I bought the entire album (I think it was discounted a whole 99¢ or something). And, if you don't put Barry Manilow in your "Mellow" playlist, I don't know where you put him. (But, of course I'm not talking about "Copacabana" or "American Bandstand," that would be crazy. Oh wait. I've said too much.)

Also, when we were little, I was going to marry Andy Gibb and my sister was going to marry Barry Manilow (solely because these were the first cassette tapes we ever owned circa 1980 - Christmas gifts from our cool, teenage cousin Mark. And, if your teenage cousin gives you The BeeGees and Barry Manilow then they are cool, my friend. Oh, yes. They. are. cool.) Well, as you know, my dreams died with Andy. But, Brandy and Barry. There's still hope. And, I figure, when the time comes, I should be a good sister-in-law and have his music in heavy rotation on my iPod.

Furthermore. As to the length of the list. Many of you marveled that I typed out 138 songs. My question: How slowly do you people type?

And, finally. My darling Lulu. My friend Lin pointed out that I had forgotten a couple of her most classic quotes. The situation has been rectified in the original post. But, just so you don't miss them:

"The rest of you can change into your sporty clothes. We're going to stay in our Fashion Clothes."

"Mommy. I know what an old-fashion car is. It's a Fashion Car. That's old."

Smart. Confident. And Fashionable. She's a Triple Threat. 

Music to Soothe the Raging Beasts

When our kids get tired they get hy.per. Slap-happy. Insane.

So, there are days that they come home from school acting like deranged, strung-out monkeys. And, in moments when my judgement has completely lapsed, I have let them set their lunacy to music. They like to play "dance party" music and bounce off of each other like teenagers in a mosh pit. This usually ends well, as you can imagine.

But, yesterday. It finally occurred to me to use their idea - to my end. I played "mellow" music. And, you know what? IT FREAKIN' WORKED. (Guess all those scientists really do know what they're talking about sometimes, huh?)

Lulu played quietly while Spence and I had the most un-frustrating homework session ever.

So without further ado. Here's my mellow playlist (that will be playing every afternoon at my house until. the. end. of. time) if you want to give it a try for your deranged monkeys.

*WARING: BARRY MANILOW SONGS TO FOLLOW*

1. Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Marvin Gaye
2. All Out of Love, Air Supply
3. All This Beauty, The Weepies
4. Amazed, Lonestar
5. Animal, Ke$ha
6. At This Moment, Billy Vera & The Beaters
7. Baby Blue, George Strait
8. Baby Don't Cry, Dr. Pants
9. Beautiful Soul, Jesse McCarney
10. Because of You, Kelly Clarkson
11. Because You Live, Jesse McCartney
12. Better Days, The Goo Goo Dolls
13. Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
14. Breathe (2AM), Anna Nalick
15. Brick, Ben Folds Five
16. Broken Things, K.C. Clifford
17. Bubbly, Colbie Caillat
18. Can't Smile Without You, Barry Manilow
19. Carolina in My Mind, James Taylor
20. Come Away With Me, Norah Jones
21. Could It Be Magic, Barry Manilow
22. Country Road, James Taylor
23. Daughter, Loudon Wainwright III
24. Daughters, John Mayer
25. Daybreak, Barry Manilow
26. Daydream Believer, Anne Murray
27. Defying Gravity, Glee Cast
28. Doctor My Eyes, Jackson Browne
29. Don't Know Why, Norah Jones
30. Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight, James Taylor
31. Down to the River to Pray, Alison Krauss
32. Even Now, Barry Manilow
33. Find Yourself, Brad Paisley
34. Fire and Rain, James Taylor
35. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Roberta Flack
36. Flies on the Butter, Wynonna Judd
37. Foolish Games, Jewel
38. The Freshmen, The Verve Pipe
39. Gift to Me, Martyn Joseph
40. Glitter in the Air, P!nk
41. Half of My Heart, John Mayer
42. Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley
43. Hanging By a Moment, Lifehouse
44. Happy, Leona Lewis
45. The Hexagon Song, Dr. Pants
46. How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You), James Taylor
47. How to Save a Life, The Fray
48. How You Live (Turn Up the Music), Point of Grace
49. Hurts So Good, John Mellencamp
50. I Can't Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt
51. I Don't Want to Wait, Paula Cole
52. I Made It Through the Rain, Barry Manilow
53. I Write the Songs, Barry Manilow
54. I'd Really Love to See You Tonight, England Dan & John Ford Coley
55. I'm Movin' On, Rascal Flatts
56. If Everyone Cared, Nickelback
57. If I Die Young, The Band Perry
58. If You Could Read My Mind, Gordon Lightfoot
59. It's All Coming Back to Me Now, Celine Dion
60. Jack & Diane, John Mellencamp
61. Jar of Hearts, Christina Perri
62. Just in Case, K.C. Clifford (Ha Ha. You can't get this one yet - because it's not written about you and your husband! It's off her as-yet unreleased CD. You just have to wait. Nanny nanny boo boo. [At least I'm gracious.])
63. Killing Me Softly with His Song, Roberta Flack
64. Kokomo, The Beach Boys
65. Lemonade, Chris Rice
66. Let Love In, The Goo Goo Dolls
67. Let The River Run, Carly Simon
68. Looks Like We Made It, Barry Manilow
69. Lost In Love, Air Supply
70. Love Song, Sara Bareilles
71. The Luckiest, Ben Folds
72. Lucky (feat. Colbie Caillat), Jason Mraz
73. Making Love Out of Nothing At All, Air Supply
74. Mandy, Barry Manilow
75. Mexico, James Taylor
76. My Wish, Rascall Flatts
77. Nights Are Forever Without You, England Dan & John Ford Coley
78. No One Is to Blame, Howard Jones
79. The Old Songs, Barry Manilow
80. One the Way Down, Ryan Cabrera
81. On the Wings of Love, Jeffrey Osborne
82. The One That Got Away, Katy Perry
83. Our Town, James Taylor
84. Please Mr. Please, Olivia Newton-John
85. Raise Your Voice, K.C. Clifford
86. Ready to Take a Chance Again, Barry Manilow
87. The Riddle, Five for Fighting
88. Same, Olivia Newton-John
89. Say, John Mayer
90. She Talks to Angels, The Black Crowes
91. She's Got a Way, Billy Joel
92. Ships, Barry Manilow
93. Shower the People, James Taylor
94. (Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay, Otis Redding
95. Slipping Through My Fingers, ABBA
96. Small Town, John Mellencamp
97. Something in the Way She Moves, James Taylor
98. Sometimes When We Touch, Dan Hill
99. Somewhere Down the Road, Barry Manilow
100. Somewhere in the Night, Barry Manilow
101. The Song Remembers When, Trisha Yearwood
102. Stand, Rascal Flatts
103. Stand by Me, Ben E. King
104. Stolen, Dashboard Confessions
105. Superman, Five for Fighting
106. Sweet Baby James, James Taylor
107. Take Me Home, Country Roads, John Denver
108. Tattoo, Jordin Sparks
109. The One's for You, Barry Manilow
110. Through the Years, Kenny Rogers
111. Tiny Dancer, Tim McGraw
112. True, Ryan Cabrera
113. Tryin' to Get the Feeling Again, Barry Manilow
114. Unbeautiful, Lesley Roy
115. Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers
116. Unfaithful, Rihanna
117. Waiting On the World to Change, John Mayer
118. Walking Man, James Taylor
119. The Way I Am, Ingrid Michaelson
120. Weekend in New England, Barry Manilow
121. What She Is (Is Woman In Love), Earl Thomas Conley
122. What the World Needs, Wynonna Judd
123. When October Goes, Barry Manilow
124. Why, Rascal Flatts
125. Wonderful, Everclear
126. Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton
127. Working My Way Back to You/Forgive Me, Girl, The Spinners
128. You and Me, Lifehouse
129. You Are the Sunshine of My Life, Stevie Wonder
130. You Found Me, The Fray
131. (You Want To) Make a Memory, Bon Jovi
132. You're Beautiful, James Blunt
133. You're So Vain, Carly Simon
134. You've Got a Friend, James Taylor
135. You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin', Righteous Brothers
136. Your Body is a Wonderland, John Mayer
137. Your Song, Elton John
138. 100 Years, Five for Fighting

There you go. 138 mellow songs to soothe your raging beasts. First person to give me a hard time about "Kokomo" is getting kicked in the throat.

*Total Barry Manilow count: 17