Friday, September 23, 2011

Don't Worry

I just don't feel like blogging right now. I'll be back when I do.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Some Follow-Up

It has come to my attention through reader comments (read that as "smart alec friends") that some of my recent posts need some follow-up.

First. About the Disaster Kit picture. You might be led to believe by the sparkly streamers at the left edge of the picture that you are looking at Lulu's bike. Or scooter.
Au contraire mon frere. That's my bike.
Shawn bought it for me a few years ago. I added the streamers and the basket liner. Best. Bike. Ever.

Next. As for the Mellow Song List. Don't judge me by my copious amounts of Barry Manilow. I bought the entire album (I think it was discounted a whole 99¢ or something). And, if you don't put Barry Manilow in your "Mellow" playlist, I don't know where you put him. (But, of course I'm not talking about "Copacabana" or "American Bandstand," that would be crazy. Oh wait. I've said too much.)

Also, when we were little, I was going to marry Andy Gibb and my sister was going to marry Barry Manilow (solely because these were the first cassette tapes we ever owned circa 1980 - Christmas gifts from our cool, teenage cousin Mark. And, if your teenage cousin gives you The BeeGees and Barry Manilow then they are cool, my friend. Oh, yes. They. are. cool.) Well, as you know, my dreams died with Andy. But, Brandy and Barry. There's still hope. And, I figure, when the time comes, I should be a good sister-in-law and have his music in heavy rotation on my iPod.

Furthermore. As to the length of the list. Many of you marveled that I typed out 138 songs. My question: How slowly do you people type?

And, finally. My darling Lulu. My friend Lin pointed out that I had forgotten a couple of her most classic quotes. The situation has been rectified in the original post. But, just so you don't miss them:
"The rest of you can change into your sporty clothes. We're going to stay in our Fashion Clothes."
"Mommy. I know what an old-fashion car is. It's a Fashion Car. That's old."
Smart. Confident. And Fashionable. She's a Triple Threat. 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Music to Soothe the Raging Beasts

When our kids get tired they get hy.per. Slap-happy. Insane.

So, there are days that they come home from school acting like deranged, strung-out monkeys. And, in moments when my judgement has completely lapsed, I have let them set their lunacy to music. They like to play "dance party" music and bounce off of each other like teenagers in a mosh pit. This usually ends well, as you can imagine.

But, yesterday. It finally occurred to me to use their idea - to my end. I played "mellow" music. And, you know what? IT FREAKIN' WORKED. (Guess all those scientists really do know what they're talking about sometimes, huh?)

Lulu played quietly while Spence and I had the most un-frustrating homework session ever.

So without further ado. Here's my mellow playlist (that will be playing every afternoon at my house until. the. end. of. time) if you want to give it a try for your deranged monkeys.

  1. Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Marvin Gaye
  2. All Out of Love, Air Supply
  3. All This Beauty, The Weepies
  4. Amazed, Lonestar
  5. Animal, Ke$ha
  6. At This Moment, Billy Vera & The Beaters
  7. Baby Blue, George Strait
  8. Baby Don't Cry, Dr. Pants
  9. Beautiful Soul, Jesse McCarney
  10. Because of You, Kelly Clarkson
  11. Because You Live, Jesse McCartney
  12. Better Days, The Goo Goo Dolls
  13. Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
  14. Breathe (2AM), Anna Nalick
  15. Brick, Ben Folds Five
  16. Broken Things, K.C. Clifford
  17. Bubbly, Colbie Caillat
  18. Can't Smile Without You, Barry Manilow
  19. Carolina in My Mind, James Taylor
  20. Come Away With Me, Norah Jones
  21. Could It Be Magic, Barry Manilow
  22. Country Road, James Taylor
  23. Daughter, Loudon Wainwright III
  24. Daughters, John Mayer
  25. Daybreak, Barry Manilow
  26. Daydream Believer, Anne Murray
  27. Defying Gravity, Glee Cast
  28. Doctor My Eyes, Jackson Browne
  29. Don't Know Why, Norah Jones
  30. Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight, James Taylor
  31. Down to the River to Pray, Alison Krauss
  32. Even Now, Barry Manilow
  33. Find Yourself, Brad Paisley
  34. Fire and Rain, James Taylor
  35. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Roberta Flack
  36. Flies on the Butter, Wynonna Judd
  37. Foolish Games, Jewel
  38. The Freshmen, The Verve Pipe
  39. Gift to Me, Martyn Joseph
  40. Glitter in the Air, P!nk
  41. Half of My Heart, John Mayer
  42. Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley
  43. Hanging By a Moment, Lifehouse
  44. Happy, Leona Lewis
  45. The Hexagon Song, Dr. Pants
  46. How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You), James Taylor
  47. How to Save a Life, The Fray
  48. How You Live (Turn Up the Music), Point of Grace
  49. Hurts So Good, John Mellencamp
  50. I Can't Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt
  51. I Don't Want to Wait, Paula Cole
  52. I Made It Through the Rain, Barry Manilow
  53. I Write the Songs, Barry Manilow
  54. I'd Really Love to See You Tonight, England Dan & John Ford Coley
  55. I'm Movin' On, Rascal Flatts
  56. If Everyone Cared, Nickelback
  57. If I Die Young, The Band Perry
  58. If You Could Read My Mind, Gordon Lightfoot
  59. It's All Coming Back to Me Now, Celine Dion
  60. Jack & Diane, John Mellencamp
  61. Jar of Hearts, Christina Perri
  62. Just in Case, K.C. Clifford (Ha Ha. You can't get this one yet - because it's not written about you and your husband! It's off her as-yet unreleased CD. You just have to wait. Nanny nanny boo boo. [At least I'm gracious.])
  63. Killing Me Softly with His Song, Roberta Flack
  64. Kokomo, The Beach Boys
  65. Lemonade, Chris Rice
  66. Let Love In, The Goo Goo Dolls
  67. Let The River Run, Carly Simon
  68. Looks Like We Made It, Barry Manilow
  69. Lost In Love, Air Supply
  70. Love Song, Sara Bareilles
  71. The Luckiest, Ben Folds
  72. Lucky (feat. Colbie Caillat), Jason Mraz
  73. Making Love Out of Nothing At All, Air Supply
  74. Mandy, Barry Manilow
  75. Mexico, James Taylor
  76. My Wish, Rascall Flatts
  77. Nights Are Forever Without You, England Dan & John Ford Coley
  78. No One Is to Blame, Howard Jones
  79. The Old Songs, Barry Manilow
  80. One the Way Down, Ryan Cabrera
  81. On the Wings of Love, Jeffrey Osborne
  82. The One That Got Away, Katy Perry
  83. Our Town, James Taylor
  84. Please Mr. Please, Olivia Newton-John
  85. Raise Your Voice, K.C. Clifford
  86. Ready to Take a Chance Again, Barry Manilow
  87. The Riddle, Five for Fighting
  88. Same, Olivia Newton-John
  89. Say, John Mayer
  90. She Talks to Angels, The Black Crowes
  91. She's Got a Way, Billy Joel
  92. Ships, Barry Manilow
  93. Shower the People, James Taylor
  94. (Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay, Otis Redding
  95. Slipping Through My Fingers, ABBA
  96. Small Town, John Mellencamp
  97. Something in the Way She Moves, James Taylor
  98. Sometimes When We Touch, Dan Hill
  99. Somewhere Down the Road, Barry Manilow
  100. Somewhere in the Night, Barry Manilow
  101. The Song Remembers When, Trisha Yearwood
  102. Stand, Rascal Flatts
  103. Stand by Me, Ben E. King
  104. Stolen, Dashboard Confessions
  105. Superman, Five for Fighting
  106. Sweet Baby James, James Taylor
  107. Take Me Home, Country Roads, John Denver
  108. Tattoo, Jordin Sparks
  109. The One's for You, Barry Manilow
  110. Through the Years, Kenny Rogers
  111. Tiny Dancer, Tim McGraw
  112. True, Ryan Cabrera
  113. Tryin' to Get the Feeling Again, Barry Manilow
  114. Unbeautiful, Lesley Roy
  115. Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers
  116. Unfaithful, Rihanna
  117. Waiting On the World to Change, John Mayer
  118. Walking Man, James Taylor
  119. The Way I Am, Ingrid Michaelson
  120. Weekend in New England, Barry Manilow
  121. What She Is (Is Woman In Love), Earl Thomas Conley
  122. What the World Needs, Wynonna Judd
  123. When October Goes, Barry Manilow
  124. Why, Rascal Flatts
  125. Wonderful, Everclear
  126. Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton
  127. Working My Way Back to You/Forgive Me, Girl, The Spinners
  128. You and Me, Lifehouse
  129. You Are the Sunshine of My Life, Stevie Wonder
  130. You Found Me, The Fray
  131. (You Want To) Make a Memory, Bon Jovi
  132. You're Beautiful, James Blunt
  133. You're So Vain, Carly Simon
  134. You've Got a Friend, James Taylor
  135. You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin', Righteous Brothers
  136. Your Body is a Wonderland, John Mayer
  137. Your Song, Elton John
  138. 100 Years, Five for Fighting
There you go. 138 mellow songs to soothe your raging beasts. First person to give me a hard time about "Kokomo" is getting kicked in the throat.

*Total Barry Manilow count: 17

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Quotes from Lulu

The car dealership owed me a detailing on my new car. When we went to pick it up Elizabeth said, "'Wow, mommy! It's so shiny and clean. Daddy won't even believe it's your car. He'll say, 'Ali Johnson! Did you steal another car again?!'" AGAIN?!

"Sorry I broke your keys, Mommy. I really am sad. I'm just not crying."

Me: Do you want to wear this outfit tomorrow, Lulu?
Elizabeth: Yes! And, then everyone will adore me!
Me: *speechless*
Elizabeth: Because that's what they do when you're adorable!

Elizabeth: Every girls' Mexico dress came from Mexico. Well. Except for Olivia's.
Spence: I'm guessing it came from America.
Elizabeth: No! It came from Target!

Elizabeth: Mommy, there's a lizard up here and it's going around and around the light.
Me: A lizard? Or is it a moth?
Elizabeth: It's a lizard.
*went upstairs. looked at the light. it was a moth.*
Elizabeth: See. A lizard.

Elizabeth: My dress was beautiful today.
Me: Was it? Did everyone like it?
Elizabeth: Yes. It was so beautiful it broke their hearts.

Oh, if only every little girl in the world could be this confident. And somehow keep it for all of their days...

Addendum (09/16/2011): It was brought to my attention by my friend Lin that I had overlooked a couple of classic Lulu-isms. So, in order to rectify the situation, I give you:

"The rest of you can change into your sporty clothes. We're going to stay in our Fashion Clothes."

"Mommy. I know what an old-fashion car is. It's a Fashion Car. That's old."

Smart. Confident. And Fashionable. She's a Triple Threat.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

I Don't Strike You as a Survivalist, Do I?

It's because I'm not.

But, I felt like one as I checked out at Wal-Mart with sleeping bags, lanterns, whistles, dust masks, a wrench... You might wonder why I felt like a "survivalist" instead of say... oh... a camper. It's because survivalist made me laugh. And, made me think of "going off the grid." And, having meetings in cabins. Where everyone brings a shotgun... or a rifle (personal choice).

Where in the world was I going with this?

Oh, yeah. Survivalist. I'm not. But, back in March when the 8.9 magnitude earthquake hit Japan, I read that so many more Japanese had survived because they were prepared. Then I saw a Emergency Supply Kit list from and, well, that was all the shove I needed to think that my family was doomed if I didn't assemble supplies. Immediately.

But, I did take heed from one suggestion I saw that it is expensive to assemble all of these supplies. So, I made a list. And, I bought one or two things every time I went to the store. Unless I had forgotten to buy some things in a while - and then I bought ten or twelve things at once... What's that saying about paving the road to hell with good intentions?

This was all going fairly well. Until I got bored. And, Japan wasn't in the headlines every day. And, it was summer. And, most of the times I was at the store, I had kids in tow, so disaster supply gathering was really the least of my concerns. Getting out of the store as quickly as possible seemed much more necessary for my family's survival.

Then a little broad came along named Irene. And, we have some friends who live in her path. And, again, I got certain that the fate of my family lay in our disaster readiness kit.

So. I finished it. And, I felt like a survivalist as I checked out.

But, here it is:
Pretty, ain't it.

And, now? I don't want to discuss the fact that the most likely natural disaster we will see in our neck of the woods is a tornado.

I can't tell you how annoyed I'm going to be if my disaster supplies get picked up in a tornado and deposited in somebody else's yard...


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