Don't Worry

I just don't feel like blogging right now. I'll be back when I do.

Some Follow-Up

It has come to my attention through reader comments (read that as "smart alec friends") that some of my recent posts need some follow-up.

First. About the Disaster Kit picture. You might be led to believe by the sparkly streamers at the left edge of the picture that you are looking at Lulu's bike. Or scooter.

Au contraire mon frere. That's my bike.

Shawn bought it for me a few years ago. I added the streamers and the basket liner. Best. Bike. Ever.

Next. As for the Mellow Song List. Don't judge me by my copious amounts of Barry Manilow. I bought the entire album (I think it was discounted a whole 99¢ or something). And, if you don't put Barry Manilow in your "Mellow" playlist, I don't know where you put him. (But, of course I'm not talking about "Copacabana" or "American Bandstand," that would be crazy. Oh wait. I've said too much.)

Also, when we were little, I was going to marry Andy Gibb and my sister was going to marry Barry Manilow (solely because these were the first cassette tapes we ever owned circa 1980 - Christmas gifts from our cool, teenage cousin Mark. And, if your teenage cousin gives you The BeeGees and Barry Manilow then they are cool, my friend. Oh, yes. They. are. cool.) Well, as you know, my dreams died with Andy. But, Brandy and Barry. There's still hope. And, I figure, when the time comes, I should be a good sister-in-law and have his music in heavy rotation on my iPod.

Furthermore. As to the length of the list. Many of you marveled that I typed out 138 songs. My question: How slowly do you people type?

And, finally. My darling Lulu. My friend Lin pointed out that I had forgotten a couple of her most classic quotes. The situation has been rectified in the original post. But, just so you don't miss them:

"The rest of you can change into your sporty clothes. We're going to stay in our Fashion Clothes."

"Mommy. I know what an old-fashion car is. It's a Fashion Car. That's old."

Smart. Confident. And Fashionable. She's a Triple Threat. 

Music to Soothe the Raging Beasts

When our kids get tired they get hy.per. Slap-happy. Insane.

So, there are days that they come home from school acting like deranged, strung-out monkeys. And, in moments when my judgement has completely lapsed, I have let them set their lunacy to music. They like to play "dance party" music and bounce off of each other like teenagers in a mosh pit. This usually ends well, as you can imagine.

But, yesterday. It finally occurred to me to use their idea - to my end. I played "mellow" music. And, you know what? IT FREAKIN' WORKED. (Guess all those scientists really do know what they're talking about sometimes, huh?)

Lulu played quietly while Spence and I had the most un-frustrating homework session ever.

So without further ado. Here's my mellow playlist (that will be playing every afternoon at my house until. the. end. of. time) if you want to give it a try for your deranged monkeys.

*WARING: BARRY MANILOW SONGS TO FOLLOW*

1. Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Marvin Gaye
2. All Out of Love, Air Supply
3. All This Beauty, The Weepies
4. Amazed, Lonestar
5. Animal, Ke$ha
6. At This Moment, Billy Vera & The Beaters
7. Baby Blue, George Strait
8. Baby Don't Cry, Dr. Pants
9. Beautiful Soul, Jesse McCarney
10. Because of You, Kelly Clarkson
11. Because You Live, Jesse McCartney
12. Better Days, The Goo Goo Dolls
13. Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
14. Breathe (2AM), Anna Nalick
15. Brick, Ben Folds Five
16. Broken Things, K.C. Clifford
17. Bubbly, Colbie Caillat
18. Can't Smile Without You, Barry Manilow
19. Carolina in My Mind, James Taylor
20. Come Away With Me, Norah Jones
21. Could It Be Magic, Barry Manilow
22. Country Road, James Taylor
23. Daughter, Loudon Wainwright III
24. Daughters, John Mayer
25. Daybreak, Barry Manilow
26. Daydream Believer, Anne Murray
27. Defying Gravity, Glee Cast
28. Doctor My Eyes, Jackson Browne
29. Don't Know Why, Norah Jones
30. Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight, James Taylor
31. Down to the River to Pray, Alison Krauss
32. Even Now, Barry Manilow
33. Find Yourself, Brad Paisley
34. Fire and Rain, James Taylor
35. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Roberta Flack
36. Flies on the Butter, Wynonna Judd
37. Foolish Games, Jewel
38. The Freshmen, The Verve Pipe
39. Gift to Me, Martyn Joseph
40. Glitter in the Air, P!nk
41. Half of My Heart, John Mayer
42. Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley
43. Hanging By a Moment, Lifehouse
44. Happy, Leona Lewis
45. The Hexagon Song, Dr. Pants
46. How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You), James Taylor
47. How to Save a Life, The Fray
48. How You Live (Turn Up the Music), Point of Grace
49. Hurts So Good, John Mellencamp
50. I Can't Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt
51. I Don't Want to Wait, Paula Cole
52. I Made It Through the Rain, Barry Manilow
53. I Write the Songs, Barry Manilow
54. I'd Really Love to See You Tonight, England Dan & John Ford Coley
55. I'm Movin' On, Rascal Flatts
56. If Everyone Cared, Nickelback
57. If I Die Young, The Band Perry
58. If You Could Read My Mind, Gordon Lightfoot
59. It's All Coming Back to Me Now, Celine Dion
60. Jack & Diane, John Mellencamp
61. Jar of Hearts, Christina Perri
62. Just in Case, K.C. Clifford (Ha Ha. You can't get this one yet - because it's not written about you and your husband! It's off her as-yet unreleased CD. You just have to wait. Nanny nanny boo boo. [At least I'm gracious.])
63. Killing Me Softly with His Song, Roberta Flack
64. Kokomo, The Beach Boys
65. Lemonade, Chris Rice
66. Let Love In, The Goo Goo Dolls
67. Let The River Run, Carly Simon
68. Looks Like We Made It, Barry Manilow
69. Lost In Love, Air Supply
70. Love Song, Sara Bareilles
71. The Luckiest, Ben Folds
72. Lucky (feat. Colbie Caillat), Jason Mraz
73. Making Love Out of Nothing At All, Air Supply
74. Mandy, Barry Manilow
75. Mexico, James Taylor
76. My Wish, Rascall Flatts
77. Nights Are Forever Without You, England Dan & John Ford Coley
78. No One Is to Blame, Howard Jones
79. The Old Songs, Barry Manilow
80. One the Way Down, Ryan Cabrera
81. On the Wings of Love, Jeffrey Osborne
82. The One That Got Away, Katy Perry
83. Our Town, James Taylor
84. Please Mr. Please, Olivia Newton-John
85. Raise Your Voice, K.C. Clifford
86. Ready to Take a Chance Again, Barry Manilow
87. The Riddle, Five for Fighting
88. Same, Olivia Newton-John
89. Say, John Mayer
90. She Talks to Angels, The Black Crowes
91. She's Got a Way, Billy Joel
92. Ships, Barry Manilow
93. Shower the People, James Taylor
94. (Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay, Otis Redding
95. Slipping Through My Fingers, ABBA
96. Small Town, John Mellencamp
97. Something in the Way She Moves, James Taylor
98. Sometimes When We Touch, Dan Hill
99. Somewhere Down the Road, Barry Manilow
100. Somewhere in the Night, Barry Manilow
101. The Song Remembers When, Trisha Yearwood
102. Stand, Rascal Flatts
103. Stand by Me, Ben E. King
104. Stolen, Dashboard Confessions
105. Superman, Five for Fighting
106. Sweet Baby James, James Taylor
107. Take Me Home, Country Roads, John Denver
108. Tattoo, Jordin Sparks
109. The One's for You, Barry Manilow
110. Through the Years, Kenny Rogers
111. Tiny Dancer, Tim McGraw
112. True, Ryan Cabrera
113. Tryin' to Get the Feeling Again, Barry Manilow
114. Unbeautiful, Lesley Roy
115. Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers
116. Unfaithful, Rihanna
117. Waiting On the World to Change, John Mayer
118. Walking Man, James Taylor
119. The Way I Am, Ingrid Michaelson
120. Weekend in New England, Barry Manilow
121. What She Is (Is Woman In Love), Earl Thomas Conley
122. What the World Needs, Wynonna Judd
123. When October Goes, Barry Manilow
124. Why, Rascal Flatts
125. Wonderful, Everclear
126. Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton
127. Working My Way Back to You/Forgive Me, Girl, The Spinners
128. You and Me, Lifehouse
129. You Are the Sunshine of My Life, Stevie Wonder
130. You Found Me, The Fray
131. (You Want To) Make a Memory, Bon Jovi
132. You're Beautiful, James Blunt
133. You're So Vain, Carly Simon
134. You've Got a Friend, James Taylor
135. You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin', Righteous Brothers
136. Your Body is a Wonderland, John Mayer
137. Your Song, Elton John
138. 100 Years, Five for Fighting

There you go. 138 mellow songs to soothe your raging beasts. First person to give me a hard time about "Kokomo" is getting kicked in the throat.

*Total Barry Manilow count: 17

Quotes from Lulu

The car dealership owed me a detailing on my new car. When we went to pick it up Elizabeth said, "'Wow, mommy! It's so shiny and clean. Daddy won't even believe it's your car. He'll say, 'Ali Johnson! Did you steal another car again?!'" AGAIN?!

"Sorry I broke your keys, Mommy. I really am sad. I'm just not crying."

Me: Do you want to wear this outfit tomorrow, Lulu?

Elizabeth: Yes! And, then everyone will adore me!

Me: *speechless*

Elizabeth: Because that's what they do when you're adorable!

Elizabeth: Every girls' Mexico dress came from Mexico. Well. Except for Olivia's.

Spence: I'm guessing it came from America.

Elizabeth: No! It came from Target!

Elizabeth: Mommy, there's a lizard up here and it's going around and around the light.

Me: A lizard? Or is it a moth?

Elizabeth: It's a lizard.

*went upstairs. looked at the light. it was a moth.*

Elizabeth: See. A lizard.

Elizabeth: My dress was beautiful today.

Me: Was it? Did everyone like it?

Elizabeth: Yes. It was so beautiful it broke their hearts.

Oh, if only every little girl in the world could be this confident. And somehow keep it for all of their days...



Addendum (09/16/2011): It was brought to my attention by my friend Lin that I had overlooked a couple of classic Lulu-isms. So, in order to rectify the situation, I give you:

"The rest of you can change into your sporty clothes. We're going to stay in our Fashion Clothes."

"Mommy. I know what an old-fashion car is. It's a Fashion Car. That's old."



Smart. Confident. And Fashionable. She's a Triple Threat.

I Don't Strike You as a Survivalist, Do I?

It's because I'm not.

But, I felt like one as I checked out at Wal-Mart with sleeping bags, lanterns, whistles, dust masks, a wrench... You might wonder why I felt like a "survivalist" instead of say... oh... a camper. It's because survivalist made me laugh. And, made me think of "going off the grid." And, having meetings in cabins. Where everyone brings a shotgun... or a rifle (personal choice).

Where in the world was I going with this?

Oh, yeah. Survivalist. I'm not. But, back in March when the 8.9 magnitude earthquake hit Japan, I read that so many more Japanese had survived because they were prepared. Then I saw a Emergency Supply Kit list from ready.gov and, well, that was all the shove I needed to think that my family was doomed if I didn't assemble supplies. Immediately.

But, I did take heed from one suggestion I saw that it is expensive to assemble all of these supplies. So, I made a list. And, I bought one or two things every time I went to the store. Unless I had forgotten to buy some things in a while - and then I bought ten or twelve things at once... What's that saying about paving the road to hell with good intentions?

This was all going fairly well. Until I got bored. And, Japan wasn't in the headlines every day. And, it was summer. And, most of the times I was at the store, I had kids in tow, so disaster supply gathering was really the least of my concerns. Getting out of the store as quickly as possible seemed much more necessary for my family's survival.

Then a little broad came along named Irene. And, we have some friends who live in her path. And, again, I got certain that the fate of my family lay in our disaster readiness kit.

So. I finished it. And, I felt like a survivalist as I checked out.

But, here it is:

Pretty, ain't it.

And, now? I don't want to discuss the fact that the most likely natural disaster we will see in our neck of the woods is a tornado.

I can't tell you how annoyed I'm going to be if my disaster supplies get picked up in a tornado and deposited in somebody else's yard...