The Post Where I Prove I'm a Hypocrite

I am not celebrity obsessed. I wouldn't go around tracking down the every move of the lady down the street. Why in the world would I care about the every move of a person just because their chosen career is acting or singing? I can admire them for the entertainment they provide. I can love their work. But, go to their house and be their BFF? Only as much as I'd want to go to your house and be your BFF - meaning, if I got to know you; and we hit it off; and you didn't pick your nose when you talked; and you didn't make fun of my hair or my clothes or judge me for my long, rambling run-on sentences; and you didn't have a cat at your house that clawed my leg... things like that.

Now, granted. I have been lured in when the media gives me the illusion that I do know these people. But, I don't relish Charlie Sheen's spiraling, out-of-control meltdown anymore than I would relish the alcoholic-induced breakdown of the soccer mom at school. Nor do I need a front-row seat to the tragedy.

I just see these people as people.

All of that to say: I have not been obsessed with the Royal Wedding. I mean, I knew every. single. media outlet would show me what her dress looked like, and how many attendants they had, and any other necessary highlight I would need to be privy to; and many, many that I wouldn't. I have not been seeking out the Royal Wedding "deets." I mean, really. They're just two young adults getting married. A special day. For them.

I was absolutely not going to set my alarm clock for 4:00am CST to see the pre-wedding coverage and the 5:00am CST wedding. No sir. I did that once in 1981, the summer after first grade, and even then I remember thinking, "Why are these people getting married so early?!" (Time zones. It's a tricky concept when you're 7...)

Then. Today.

5:00am CST:

"Mommy, I had an accident."

5:08am CST

I get everyone snuggled back into bed and I think, "Huh. They're getting married right now."

5:09am CST

I walk downstairs, past the TV and I think, "I'll just turn it on for a second. Just to see her dress."

I've been watching wedding coverage for five hours now.

Y'all! They kissed twice!! Unprecedented! And that dress! And, Kate is so gracious and graceful. And, they seem so in love with their quiet communications, spoken and unspoken. And, did you see how exquisite her sister looked as her attendant?

I even gave Shawn a little dissertation on the surname of the Royal family this morning. He was fascinated, I can assure you. (Cliffs Notes: They don't officially have one. How cool is that?! But, when you're the Royal Family, I guess people pretty much know who you are.)

So, later tonight at 7pm CST Piers Morgan will be doing a complete two-hour wrap-up on CNN. Awesome. I'm there, Piers. I mean, seriously!

I ♥ Will and Kate! Does anyone know where I can buy a set of commemorative dishes?

Yes! That CAN be my next tweet

OK. So, I don't think I've made much of a secret of the fact that I just can't get into Twitter. I can't. Unless I'm staring at it 24/7, I feel like I'm missing everything that's going on. And, I don't like trying to figure out what people have responded to me about which tweet. It's just all so very exhausting. Facebook puts it all so neatly in its own little comment thread, with pretty little notices to tell you who commented about what. So pretty. So OCD. I don't care if it means I'm not young and hip. I'm a Facebook girl.

But, I do feel Twitter guilt. Like, if I just tried harder, I could make my relationship with Twitter work. (Wait. Am I in an abusive relationship with Twitter?!) So, when I saw the link to "Yes. That can be my next tweet." I was sold. Please, all-knowing website, tell me what to tweet. Then Twitter won't feel so used by me just putting links to my blog posts up there.

It told me this:

Ahhh. shucks. thanks so much! AND being scolded. by my car. i've opened the house. i hate that!

(Ummm. Should this all be one tweet? If so, I hope I've learned my lesson about opening the house to the self-righteous car. But, then. It looks like I have. And, I wonder what I'm so humbly thankful for? Not the car. That's for sure.)

So, that can't be right. I tried again:

Well that's a Snowman That Keep Me Up at the radio. hope you should move.

(This isn't getting any better. Now it seems English has become my second language.)

Again:

The what a warning. sorry. my car make me it's more fun with me it's more fun with the full face = the.

(And, now I've suffered a full break with reality. Or a stroke. But, at least it seems to be "fun." But, the car again. Why does Twitter want to keep talking about my car? It's a five-year-old Hond Pilot, Twitter. Let it go.)

And, finally:

Oh. My compulsion is 11 days before Halloween. Is this "twitter" thing EVER on?! Who Taught Her - The Johnsons.

(I believe that about sums it up. But, might I warn everyone to steer clear of me on October 20th. Compulsions are not to be taken lightly, people.)

Or this:

Well. I don't know which direction to talk about it up here?! wait. there's PIZZA.

(That's always my reaction to pizza.)

Anyway. What were we talking about? Did someone say, "pizza?"

Wedding Weekend Update

I must check in with you all. Although, my head is so deeply buried in the 900 page epic Pillars of the Earth, I'm now just desperate to finish it so I can go back to being a productive member of society. My Kindle tells me I'm 70% through it. So, that means, what? I only have 270 more pages to go? Great. See you next month.

Anyhoo...

I'm completely overwhelmed by how many of you have told Shawn or me that you've been thinking of us and that you prayed for a peaceful weekend. Truly, I just don't have the words to express my gratitude.

And, I'm happy to report that absolutely nothing blog-worthy happened this weekend other than a beautiful bride married a handsome groom. I adore my new sister-in-law. Heather is beautiful, smart, gracious and funny. Well done, Mike.

And, that bump of Heather's? That's Carter! I'm way more excited about him than I am about Heather - and I'm really excited about Heather! He should make his debut mid-July.

Other than that, we had some great times visiting with family and making new friends. The Easter Bunny had been to every house we went to yesterday, so I'm pretty sure my kids are going to start insisting we travel on Easter - just so they can stock up on the loot!

So, that's it. Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers. Throw a few more up for Mike and Heather's new marriage and their life together. Like I told Mike: I am a better person because of the person with whom I chose to spend my life. I pray the same blessing for them.