"I need to order more contacts, please."
After a few "please holds" and "let me get your charts," he finally said, "Ok. I can get those ordered for you. Would you like to give me a credit card over the phone?"
Since I've ordered countless boxes of contacts from this doctor's office and have always paid for them when I've picked them up, I knew this wasn't necessary. And, since I was also driving at the time, I said, "I'm sorry. I can't right now. I'm driving. Can I just pay for them when I pick them up?"
To which he answered, "Well... Okay... But, last time we ordered contacts for you, I show you didn't pay. So, just be sure and get them paid for this time."
*SCREECHING BRAKES* WHAT THE HELL?!
Did I mention that this eye doctor is our friend? If I'm going to skip a bill, it's certainly not going to be one from someone who knows me!*
So, I stammered, "I... Um... How... When?!"
"Back in August I see you ordered some contacts and you never picked them up."
"I never picked them up? Are they still there?!"
"Oh. Just one second. Let me check... They are still here."
"How about I just come pick those up?"
"Sure. That would be great."
Dude. Customer service tip: "We still have some contacts here that you ordered back in August. It seems you never picked them up," would probably go over a little better than, "Sure, deadbeat. But, be sure to pay your bill this time."
*I kid. I'm too big of a believer in karma to steal from anyone. (Ask me about the toothpaste I had to smuggle back into Walmart when I found it buried in my cart as I unloaded my purchases one time.