Monday, February 07, 2011

Lessons from a Snowman

There are a couple of lessons to be learned here:
  • The time to take a snowman's picture is immediately upon completion. Snowmen do not age well. This pictures was taken a mere two hours after his creation.
To be clear: Our snowman originally had three buttons, a full smile, even eyes (not these creepy, winking-looking things) and a nose. That monstrosity in the middle of his face? That brings us to our next lesson...
  • Candy canes do not make good noses. They are made of sugar. Snow is made of water. Water makes sugar melt. Please. Learn from our mistake. Don't let one more snowman suffer.

[Ed. note: I thought I would go take an up-to-the-minute picture of the snowman just before I posted this - for your viewing pleasure, and all. (I know. I give and give on this blog. Oh stop.) As I walked down our icy, steep driveway I repeated over and over in my head, "Please do not slip on the ice. Please do not slip on the ice. Please do not..." And, then I slipped on the ice. From the feeling of things, I caught myself with my left thumb - quite a capable body part, so that shouldn't hurt at all later when the adrenaline wears off - and sent a shockwave up to my shoulder. Then? Then, y'all? I got up. And, I. took. the. picture.

The world needs to know: Time is not a snowman's friend.]
Oh, sweet mercy. He's been impaled by his own nose. The humanity.


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