Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Driving While Dumb

I turned right at the intersection. Just your average, everyday right turn. But, I clipped the curb with my back right tire - because I'm a dork to the dumb-ass degree.*

As I continued down the road, I thought, "Is the car making a weird noise?" just as I noticed my right rear tire indicator light had come on. Great.

I pulled into the first parking lot I saw. I got out, walked around the back of the car and, sure enough, my back right tire was as flat as flat could be.

As I raise my eyes to heaven wondering how in the world I was going to take care of this (because, let's face it, while me changing a tire is theoretically possible, there is very little chance it would end well if actually implemented... and because I just know Shawn told me he was driving out of town for a meeting all day today - I have really got to start paying more attention...), my eyes lit upon the sign for the parking lot in which I stood. Well hello, Firestone. It has never been so good to see you. Please forgive the 27 other times I've driven past you and never noticed how beautiful you were.

It. was. awesome.

Never mind that I had to wait an hour - it was still awesome. Never mind that a Bosley Hair Solutions infomercial played for half the time I sat there - still awesome. And, never mind that it was followed by an episode of the Steve Wilkos Show - still didn't stop being awesome. (But, y'all? If you are in any way trashy enough to be on the Steve Wilkos Show? You need to stop being that way. And, start being another way. Immediately.) Never mind that I "cut the sidewall" of my tire and had to spend $129 for a new tire. Well, that part kinda raised the "suck" factor.

But, overall? Awesome.

*How glad am I that I wasn't on my mobile phone? That would have been embarrassing.


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