Friday, May 20, 2011

Because of the Way He Makes Me Feel

It’s been said that we love a person because of the way they make us feel about ourselves. If that is true, here’s why I love Shawn: 

I feel smart… because of the way he talks to me, understands me and communicates with me. 
I feel pretty… because of the way he looks at me and rarely lets me pass without touching me. 
I feel funny… because we make each other laugh. 
I feel capable… because he forces me to recognize my own strengths and stand on my own two feet. 
I feel confident… because he’s my even-keel. He always reigns me back in if I start to whirl off into the stratosphere, get inappropriate, over-zealous or over-emotional. I know if Shawn says it’s okay, I’m okay. 
I feel needed… because of the way he asks my opinions, seeks out my advice, and appreciates the way I care for and love our family. 
I feel protected… because… well, just try to say something inappropriate to me, or hurt my feelings. You’ll see why. 
I feel spoiled… because he works so hard to provide a beautiful life for his family. And, he still takes me out on date-nights to “buy [me] a new dress.” 
I feel blessed… because this man I love more than life itself has been recreated in two other perfect (to us!) little creatures. I watch him work at being the best, hands-on dad he can be. I watch him put the kids’ wishes above his own. I watch him schedule parent/teacher conferences instead of business meetings. I watch him drag himself around when he is at the edge of exhaustion; I watch him hurry home from work and business trips because the kids have one more activity, one more assignment, one more bedtime. But, he does it. Because he knows that being a good dad is not a passive activity. 
I feel loved… because he’s sensitive to how I feel. He listens to me. He talks to me. He communicates with me. He cares about the things that upset me and the things that bring me joy. He has chosen to. love. me. 
I feel amazed… that one man can be so honest, hard-working, honorable, God-fearing, faithful, kind, generous, sensitive and loving. 
I feel happy… because I’m married to him. 
I feel undeserving… of the lifetime ahead of us that we have to live. But, I feel grateful. Oh, so grateful.



You could call me codependent. You could say my happiness is too contingent upon Shawn. You would be right. The life we have experienced together over these past 17 years, the ups and the downs, the blessings and the tragedies, have made him an intertwined piece of my soul. I don’t know where I begin and he ends. And I pray I never have to find out. 

Happy Birthday, Shawn. I love you.

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