My Daughter Keeps Getting Her Clock Cleaned

The Pre-K had a program Wednesday. They sang songs on which they had been working for months and months. Really quite darling (as long as one of the performers was your kid)…

Unfortunately for Lulu, though, the event took a turn for the traumatic when she got hit by the little boy next to her. (Why did that just make me think of Urban Cowboy? Bud: What happened to your face? Sissy: Got hit. There’s something wrong in my head.)

I have reviewed the video footage (believe me, have I reviewed the footage!) and have come to the conclusion that no malice was intended. Elizabeth got a little, shall we say, effusive with her hand motions and whacked the boy next to her. And, his expression is… joy. Or at least excitement. Like, “Game on! She hit me, now I hit her.” And, that’s what he did. And she started to sob. And then wail. And the whole while she stood completely rooted to her spot – even though I kept giving her the third-base-coach-motion-to-bring-it-on-home while mouthing, “It’s okay. Come here!”

Now I’m not sure if The Bear Went Over The Mountain ends with the brownie-eating bear being sent to his room – but, it did on Wednesday. The teacher/director saw her crying and called her over. Lulu regaled her, loudly, with a recap of the drama. The most offensive thing to Elizabeth was that she had “said I was sorry! But, he hit me.”

And, then she sat with me for the rest of the program.

She rejoined her class for the group picture at the end and walked back down to her classroom with them - none the worse for wear.

As, I walked down to the classroom to say goodbye, I passed the boy and his father. His dad told me that he had already made his son apologize. Everything is fine. Everyone is friends.

And, then… Thursday. I picked her up from school and there was an “Accident Report” in her box. Uh Oh.

It read,

“Explanation: Lizzie [Ed note: How much do I love it that Lulu has somehow convinced her Religion Teacher that she goes by “Lizzie”? I asked her about it and she said, “Yeah. I told her that. I like her to call me Lizzie.” Do you want us all to call you Lizzie? "No." Okay then.] was standing behind two classmates who were fighting over carrying the class cross. During their tug-of-war, before either of us could get to them, one let go and the cross flew backwards, hitting Lizzie on the nose.

Treatment: Lizzie was immediately taken to the office for ice, hugs, and tissues. She went back to class.

Child’s Reaction: Lizzie was very upset, especially when her nose bled briefly, but she soon recovered and went happily back to class.”

So, to be clear, she was hit in the face with a cross? I think I’ve heard of some fundamentalist churches like this! Damn! And, I should say she was "very upset" when her nose bled - I found blood splatter on her shoe this morning.

But, you know? Show me a room full of four- and five-year-olds that aren’t occasionally going to hurt each other accidentally and I’ll show you a room where sedatives are being used. Anyway, the accident report is much less shocking than the words with which Elizabeth greeted me at pick-up: “The boys hit me in the face with a stick and my nose bled.” I’m sorry. Come again?

And, finally, who could possibly argue with the treatment she was given? Ice, HUGS, and tissues. What wouldn’t that fix?!