- Never cut an apple with the same knife you just used to cut an onion - unless you really like the taste of onion-apple.
- Never touch a broiler pan that is in a 400 degree oven with your bare flesh - unless you're in to skin markings.
- Never put your face directly in front of the opening oven door - unless you want to know what it's like for your mascara to melt your eyelashes together.
- Always wear your hair tied back while baking - unless you want to feed hair to your family.
- Never cut with a dull knife - unless you like getting stitches.
- Never rub your eyes after cutting a jalapeño - really, NEVER. No "unless" or anything.
- Metal really can't go in the microwave.
- Always lick the bowl.
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.