Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I Wish I Could Laugh

I want more than anything to write a silly post today. Something to make you smile. Something to make me smile. But, the reality upon which I stand is shaking. Marriages crumble, children get lost*, people let you down. I feel like I'm standing with my feet spread and hands out, waiting to catch myself, waiting for the roaring in my ears to calm and the motion in my stomach to stop.

Instead of counting my blessings (my many, many, many blessings) and smiling about my charmed life, I have a serious case of survivor's guilt. I'm no different. I'm no better. Why am I so happy?

Sorry to be so vague - I mean none of us read blogs to not get all the juicy details, right? I'm sure I will be giving you details in the future. Just hold on. Until then, know that The Johnsons are fine. Those we love desperately could use your prayers, though.

*Our university had their first game of the season this weekend. One of our friends' seven-year-olds got separated from her family and was lost for about twenty minutes. She made her way all the way out of the stadium before a woman saw her, asked her if she was lost, and brought her to a policeman.

It was one of the worst twenty minutes of my life - and I'm not her mother. It was such a wake-up call that this is a big, big world and our babies are very little, little people. None of us who were involved in the search (and by the end there were probably twelve people and the police force involved) could look at each other today or talk about it without getting worked up and/or crying. A wake-up call indeed.

Thank you, Lord, for the angels that watch over our children. And, our "Village" that loves them almost as much as we do.


Avante Garde Parenting said...

Wow, what a tough situation and reality check.

A great post, though a detour from your usually hilarious stories. Your blog makes me smile, laugh, and think. I tagged you in my post today as one of my faves.

Ali said...

THAT makes me smile! thanks AGP!

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

Huge pit in my stomach. Sometimes I really, really don't like being an adult. This has been one of those weeks.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Ali! So sorry for the enormous, enormous scare. I am very glad y'all had a wonderful outcome to a very scary situation. I think I'll go up and hug G$ - even though she's been in bed for an hour.

Love to you and your friends. I am so glad they are all together tonight.

:) LE

Anonymous said...

PS - (and I AM NOT trying to be funny on an unsettled night), but do I have to be "Anonymous"? I don't know how to do it.

Ali said...

Amy - i JUST watched my kids tonight and thought, "i remember just being a HAPPY kid without a care in the world!" sometimes being a grownup really does SUCK.

Lenna - i have cracked up every time i see you as "anonymous"! doesn't it give you a "sign up" option somewhere. or, surely, you already have a google account. you can "sign in" with your google account. (and p.s. on "unsettled nights" i need your funny more than EVER. love you.)

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