I Wish I Could Laugh

I want more than anything to write a silly post today. Something to make you smile. Something to make me smile. But, the reality upon which I stand is shaking. Marriages crumble, children get lost*, people let you down. I feel like I'm standing with my feet spread and hands out, waiting to catch myself, waiting for the roaring in my ears to calm and the motion in my stomach to stop.

Instead of counting my blessings (my many, many, many blessings) and smiling about my charmed life, I have a serious case of survivor's guilt. I'm no different. I'm no better. Why am I so happy?

Sorry to be so vague - I mean none of us read blogs to not get all the juicy details, right? I'm sure I will be giving you details in the future. Just hold on. Until then, know that The Johnsons are fine. Those we love desperately could use your prayers, though.

*Our university had their first game of the season this weekend. One of our friends' seven-year-olds got separated from her family and was lost for about twenty minutes. She made her way all the way out of the stadium before a woman saw her, asked her if she was lost, and brought her to a policeman.

It was one of the worst twenty minutes of my life - and I'm not her mother. It was such a wake-up call that this is a big, big world and our babies are very little, little people. None of us who were involved in the search (and by the end there were probably twelve people and the police force involved) could look at each other today or talk about it without getting worked up and/or crying. A wake-up call indeed.

Thank you, Lord, for the angels that watch over our children. And, our "Village" that loves them almost as much as we do.