Lest you think my wit and charm pervade all aspects of my life - they DON'T. (Although, I'm not quite sure how showing you my moldy bread is witty or charming.)
It is never more apparent to me that God gave me children to help teach me patience than when we are loading into the car. It just takes longer to get three or more people out the door than, say, one. So, I try to account for that. I always tell myself we're leaving ten minutes earlier than we need to; so when we're running late (and we're always running late), we'll still be on time. We never are. And, I loathe being late. Add to that my children's "woolgathering" and it pushes me to the brink when I'm trying to get us somewhere in a timely manner.
Fortunately for me, my car is usually parked in the garage.
Unfortunately for me, today it was parked in the driveway. So, when my head spun around and I bellowed, "Get in your seat and get yourselves buckled right now," I was able to see the painter across the street look up to see who exactly was flippin' out in the neighborhood. Viewing it through his eyes, I realized that I looked like a bossy lunatic. It was not a proud parenting moment.
Fast forward to the pool. Elizabeth screamed at her brother like she was possessed by a legion of demons. I put her in time-out. And while she wailed (and by "wailed" I mean... WAILED), I sat one chair over from her with my arms crossed, ignoring her until it was over... while every other mom at the pool bore witness. It was not a proud parenting moment.
Then, once it occurred to me to feast on my public parenting shortfalls as blog fodder, I tried to get pictures of them frolicking at the pool (mainly just to prove that they are seemingly well-adjusted children despite their unadjusted mother). While trying to get said pictures, I may or may not have been overheard to have said, "You can't use your candy token until you let me take a good picture of you."
Geez. It was like my public display of shameful parenting was becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
These are the best pictures you can attain of children (with a phone camera)
when you ask them to "be still" while frolicking at the pool. Yeah, right.
This one may have preceded the "no candy" comment.
Evidently, Spence has a big problem with paparazzi. Who knew?