Thursday, August 19, 2010

Thoughts, Thoughts Everywhere but not a Coherent Thing to Think

It must be nearing the end of summer because the only things bouncing around my brain are a jumble of disconnected thoughts. Come on, school! Surely, you can get here before Mommy has to be committed!
  • I read a report that a woman is more likely to have twins if she is obese, older, or has already borne previous children. I think this is proof that God likes practical jokes.
  • Elizabeth had a bloody nose. Before I could get a tissue to her, it started to run into her mouth. She went "pthhhht," to spit it out. I hope my bedroom is never sprayed with Luminol because someone will be convicted of a violent crime for sure.
  • One time I dropped my flat iron while I was using it (actually Shawn stepped on the cord, but I don't want to point any [burned] fingers). It caught and hung on my fingers. Before I could shake it off, I screamed in a completely unbridled fashion. Then I thought, "Huh. So that's what my primal scream sounds like. I would have hoped for something more substantial."
  • Sometimes "medium" is too small but "large" is too big.
  • Why do pitchers have that adjustable nozzle? One is closed, and it doesn't really close it. One is open. And, one is a strainer. A strainer?! What exactly are people drinking out of their pitchers that needs to be strained first?!
And here are some things I hate. Yes, I know. "Hate" is a strong word. I really do hate these things...
  • You know when you're using hydrogen peroxide and it gets on your finger tips and turns them white and itchy? I hate that.
  • You know when you HEAR your phone, but you can't FIND your phone. I hate that, too.
  • You know when you shoo a bug off yourself, but then for the next thirty minutes you still feel like there's a bug crawling on you? Hate that, too.
  • You know when you need to stop somewhere before you go home; but then you drive home on auto-pilot and never make the stop? Yep. Hate that.
  • You know when you reach in your purse to pull out your car key, but instead pull out a Star Trek badge? What? You don't?! (And, actually... I kinda love that...)


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