We have two huge trees in our backyard that have a terminal case of some dreaded tree fungus. We've given a valiant effort to ignoring the problem, but the time has come for them to pass on to that great big forest in the sky.
Shawn called a tree guy. I knew this. The tree guys came today. I knew this. I screeched into the driveway after dropping the kids at school and picking up groceries to throw in the crockpot for dinner (yes, this is the only way I cook anymore, thank you for asking) with a ten minute turnaround before I had to head back to school to help drive the First Grade class on a field trip. I saw the tree guy's truck in front of my house. I knew the tree guys were there.
I made pot roast in record time. I flew out of the house. I threw up the garage door. I was single-mindedly focused on getting Lulu's car seat out of my car (to make way for more First Grade booster seats) and making it to school on time.
I heard, "Mrs. Johnson?"
I jumped, turned and... screamed... in the tree guy's face.
He said, "I'm sorry. I'm blah blah blah* with blah blah blah* Tree Service. We're going to be working on your trees for the next couple of days."
I was so embarrassed that I just kept laughing and SMILING "the smile of the deranged" the whole time.
I tried to make some pleasantries about our pathetic, dying trees but it was too little, too late.
He just wanted to introduce himself. And, I screamed in his face.
He quickly stepped away from me. (I can't imagine.) And, I could not. stop. laughing. So, I proceeded to unload the car seat while laughing to myself the entire time with a permanent humiliated smile on my face. And, I think I shook my head at myself a couple of times for emphasis, too.
Truly. I looked like a lunatic in my own driveway.
As soon as I could drive away, (while throwing an embarrassed wave to the poor, bewildered tree guys), I called Shawn. I confessed that I had just brought shame to our family and relayed the story. He said...
"Well. This does not surprise me."
If I have not made it clear before that I do not know how to interact with people I don't know in an appropriate manner, let this be proof for you. I do not do it well. Not well at all. I have now added "shriek in their faces and can't stop laughing about it" to my repertoire.
It's probably best that I be kept away from the general population.
*No seriously. I'm not trying to protect the names of the innocent. I endured all that and I have NO. IDEA. what the tree guy's name is.