So, I can only guess that most of you have not been obsessively googling "spitz nevi" like my step-mom and I have. In that case, let me tell you that they are most commonly found in people under the age of twenty (and I know what you're thinking, but regardless of how young I look, I am over twenty. You're sweet, though). One site even suggests, "As a rule, a pathologist should always think thrice before diagnosing a Spitz nevi in an adult over 40 years of age." (I instinctively got a little miffed that my step-mom was so brazen to point out that my age was "close enough" to 40. Rude... But, accurate... Now I don't want to talk about it anymore.)
Oh, and by the way, the alternative diagnosis: melanoma. Yay!
The doctor walked into the office today and I said, "So, I know you probably hate it when your patients say, 'I've been googling...'"
And, he said, "But, spitz nevi is a very unusual diagnosis for someone your age."
Um. Holla! to the doctor that can read your mind!
Then he said, "That's why we're going to treat this like a melanoma today. That way, even if we do get another diagnosis on this new pathology, we will have already taken the most cautious approach."
I may have said, "Do it!" or "Yay!" or "You can have my whole knee cap, just make sure I'm here to watch my kids grow up," I'm not sure. But, now I look like I went off to war and got triaged in a battlefield tent.
Don't even care! I feel like a thousand ton weight is off my chest.
During the procedure I said, "So now at least we know my skin is trying to kill me."**
He said, "That's a very good way to look at it."
WHAT?! No it's not. You clearly don't read my blog! That is a sample of my self-deprecating defense technique. Your response is supposed to be, "No. No. This will probably never happen again." Geez. Your office is really bad at knowing what your lines are!
P.S. After having to get the kids off to school single-handedly for the second time in two weeks, Shawn's response to the idea that I need to be closely watched for melanomas: "Knowing what it's like taking care of these kids without you, if I see anything weird on your body, I'm cutting it off myself."
Having a husband who appreciates me: Good.
Surgery by steak knife: Bad.
**I told you a long time ago that I only have a limited amount of material. Now you have proof that I really do reuse this stuff.