Sunday, January 10, 2010

When Shawn goes out of town...

...I am certain the murderer that has been biding his time, waiting for the perfect opportunity, is about to act out all of his worst intentions.  Why then, do I keep posting Shawn's absence on FACEBOOK for all the world to see?  Clearly, it is because I have no sense of self-preservation.  But, I also have a home security system and a few firearms.  Maybe I'm really hoping he'll make his move so I'll have an excuse.  "Do you feel lucky?  Well, do you, punk?"

To be honest, I know why I posted it this last time.  It's because Shawn was asked to give a speech.  And, my running joke for the week leading up to the trip was, "It's a speech on what it's like to be married to an awesome person."  Yeah, Shawn really thought it was funny the 732nd time I said it.  Therefore, I was desperate for a new audience for whom to deliver my line and it just didn't work if I didn't do it while he was off giving said speech.  Don't challenge me on this - in my mind, it just didn't work.

So, there you have it.  I put my family in mortal danger (in my mind at least), for good joke delivery.  Yeah.  That's not messed up.  And, neither is this:  I saved them by staying awake til an ungodly hour.  Therefore, the murderer got tired and had to go home to bed because I outlasted him.  Good motherhood restored.  (And, once again.  Say it with me this time - it's so complicated in my head.)

P.S. Lest you think I haven't learned my lesson, Shawn is NOT out of town.  I am posting this on a day when the fortress is well guarded.  So, back to the drawing board with you, murderer.  You missed us this time!

That's Jason from Halloween.*  I don't really think he's out to get me because Jamie Lee Curtis already took care of him.  But, then again.  I kinda do.


*Ed note: No. No, it's not. As Kelly helped school me - that's Jason from Friday the 13th. (Michael Meyers is from Halloween!) I'm not sure who killed Jason. Now I find myself just hoping he's dead! Didn't he live on for, like, twenty-seven sequels?!


5 comments:

Anna said...

I think you should rename your blog "It's so complicated in my head."

Ali said...

bwahahahahahahaha!

Kellyann said...

Okay, the similarities between us are crazy. So glad to know I'm not the only freak out there who thinks these things when husbands go out of town. We have an alarm system as well, and whenever MKB goes out of town I set it to "away" so any movement in the house will set it off. This works perfectly until I wake up at 4:30am to go to the bathroom and forget its on...yeah, that's happend more than twice....

Kelly Campbell said...

Oh Ali...Michael Meyers is from Halloween. Jason, pictured above, is from Friday the 13th. (I have an odd obsession with horror films...dont' judge me!!!) Regardless, I am glad you remained safe. :)

Ali said...

i am so ashamed. i guess i'm easily confused by hockey masks.

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